A Pregnancy Without Tomorrow

By: Kamon Takenori

“Shuu-chan, I’m pregnant.”
“Huh…?”

“B-A-B-Y, a baby!”

I knew what she meant without needing to get shouted at.
Plus I was depressed, seeing as how it was finally time for “that”.
I started living together with my junior, Misuzu, as soon as we clicked with each other at our college circle.

Well, we did fight occasionally, but regardless of that each day was filled with bliss.
I was in the second year of my employment, while Misuzu had also found a job and was just about to graduate college.

“Haa…”
“What’s wrong, Aren’t you happy?”

“No, that’s not it.”

I stood up, and sat beside the sofa where she was sitting.
She perks up after seeing that, and lines her shoulder with mine.

“I’m really scared of meeting your parents.”
“Oh my~. Well I should warn you in that case; my dad is really scary.”

“Oi, stop that.”

Saying so, I purse Misuzu’s lips, and fall down on top of her.

Marrying Misuzu was only a matter of time, so this only speeds things up a bit.
I can’t think of anyone else but Misuzu.
There’s no one I’ve ever felt greater affinity towards.

“You’re already pregnant. Any chance we could do it without a ‘helmet’?”
“Seriously, gross.”

As Misuzu laughs, I embrace her. This is happiness.
Happiness which you find only in paintings.
We don’t have enough money for a ceremony, but there should be enough for our life from now on.

The next day, I contacted my parents’ house during lunch break.
It was my mother who picked up the phone.

“Mom, eh, uh~”
“What’s wrong, Shuji. You rarely call us, did something happen?”

“Um, I also wanted to tell dad about it.”
“What, about what?”

“I found someone I want to marry.”
“Wo-w! How? Did you get her pregnant?”

“…..Yeah.”
“Bu. How careless can you be? What do you plan on saying to your future in-laws?”

“What should I say?”
“Stupid child. Tell them that you’d like to marry their daughter, and how about moving ahead with that if they accept you?”

“Oooh~, that was helpful. Thanks mom. Love you~.”
“Stupid son. I’ll let your dad know.”

“Thanks~”

All good at my house.
All that’s left is Misuzu’s house. This is going to be tough.
Can’t someone do it in place of me?

Misuzu welcomes me with a smile as I return to our room.

“Yo, Shuu-chan.”
“Yo. I’m back.”

“Welcome back. Hey, I called back home.”
“Really?”

“They told me to bring you over the weekend.”
“Really…”

“Don’t worry, they didn’t sound too antagonistic.”
“Really! Oh, that’s great.”

“Fufufu.”

After eating dinner, we both sat on the sofa beside each other.
My hand was touching Misuzu’s belly.

“Misuzu.”
“Yeah?”

“I want a ring.”
“Sure. But I want a bag.”

Saying that, she brings out a brand catalogue.
The prices were all above 250,000 Yen.

“Good god.”
“At least its cheaper than a ring. Plus it’s practical.”

“I guess.”

I wrap my arm around Misuzu’s shoulder as she talks about such things.
She’s unbelievably cute.
Misuzu and our kid. I want to love them both for the rest of my life. Those were my honest feelings.

Then came the weekend.
There stood me shivering while wearing a suit. With a box of chocolates under my arm.

“Okay, let’s practice one last time.”
“Excuse me! father-in-law. Please give me your daughter’s hand!”

Next to me, Misuzu guffaws with her hand on her mouth.

“Very poor. Laughable even.”
“Stupid. Don’t laugh. I’m desperate enough as it is.”

Misuzu took me to her parents’ house.
Her house was two prefectures away from my own parents’ house.
It was pretty far, though our apartment was right in the middle of both places so it was easy to visit both.

The weather seemed nice. Maybe the day would go just as well.
We arrive at her parents’ house…..
My feet were shaking.

“I’m home~”

With those two words, my mind went completely blank.
I could hear two sets of slippers.
I wondered what sort of face I was making.

“Aah, welcome welcome.”

It was her dad’s voice. Even though he simply welcomed us in, I prostrated myself in front of the door.

“O-, oi. You”
“U-, um! I have had the pleasure of going out with miss Misuzu till now, and my name is Yokoyama Shuji. I have intruded upon this place by father-in-law’s permission, and um, um, um, Please give me your Misuzu! I ask you sincerely! I will surely make her happy!”

Long. Too long.
It felt like everything that had to come out, did.
While prostrating, I realized that something was off with my knees.
Yes. I was crushing, what seemed to be, father-in-law’s leather boots with my knees.

With high tensions, my entire body was shaking.
It felt like an eternity passed, but the laughing voice above my head brought me back to my senses.

“Hahahahaha. He seems like a fine young man, Misuzu.”
“Oh, Shuu-chan…”

Still, the insides of my head were in panic.
I stick out the box of chocolates under my arm to father-in-law.

“U-, um! It may be worthless to you, but in exchange for your daughter-“

…What the hell was I saying.
It felt like I was saying something unforgivable.

“Puu——!”

Everyone other than me burst out laughing.
Unable to catch up to this family pace, I laugh along nervously, but after Misuzu urged me I finally stood up and we head to the tea-room. It was a japanese-style room with 9 tatami mats. We all sit along the table.
I was sweating like a faucet and I had no idea what to do. Moreover, I had already said all I wanted to say, but the other party is yet to say anything.
Still, it felt weird asking them to give their daughter to me again, so I held my tongue.

“Suzune, bring the alcohol.”
“Ah, ye-s.”

Hearing her name called out, Misuzu’s mother stood up and went to the kitchen.
Within moments, a bottle of sake was placed in front of us.

“U-, um…”
“I know, Shuu-kun. It’s about Misuzu, right? I heard clearly when you said you’d keep her happy. Come, let us drink as father and son.”

“Ah, ye-, yes!”
“Wait! Dad!”

Misuzu stops up. That came as no surprise.
I was hopeless when it came to alcohol. Much less with sake.
This was the stuff that got me drunk just by its smell.
But once poured, alcohol must not be wasted.
I poured it down my throat with such momentum.

After drinking for a while with Misuzu’s father, my tongue unraveled and I started speaking much more frankly with him.

“Actually, Misuzu is already carrying my child in her stomach.”
“Huh?”

Misuzu’s father frowns, but soon returns to the same meek look he had.

“Ha ha ha. I see, I see. You must’ve been distraught about that. Wondering whether her father might accidentally kill you, after hearing that. Don’t worry. You’re not a man if you can’t do that much.”
“Y-, yeah you’re right.”

“You know I,-“

Misuzu’s father closes the distance between us, and smirks.

“-stole someone’s wife, and ran-off with her.”
“H-, huh?”

“Ha ha ha. Compared to someone like me, you’re still a child on your mom’s teat.”

That’s really amazing.
In fact, it’s scary. That mean his wife, Mrs. Suzune, used to be someone else’s partner.

I continued hearing his story, while desperately struggling to keep my drunk eyelids open.
Misuzu’s mother, Mrs. Suzune, was smiling from beginning to end.
While thinking how awesome it would be to be a part of this family, I bade my farewells, and went back to our room while leaning on Misuzu’s shoulder.
Oh, and I also threw up once at the train station.



After that, a few weeks pass.
We were happy with a modest ceremony, but after agreeing that the parents should meet each other at least once, we decided to have a dinner get-together in a chinese restaurant.
The first to arrive were Misuzu’s parents and little brother. Her father’s story allowed time to pass by peacefully.

In the mean time, my parents arrived.
My father was in a suit, while my mother in a kimono. My mother was a flower arrangement teacher, so it wasn’t uncommon for her to wear one.
My father entered such a house as its son-in-law, but he was a dignified man and a good father.

Guided by the server, my mother immediately bowed as she arrived.

“I would like to apologize for the delay we have caused, even though we are in the position of accepting this young lady into our family.”

She apologized like so, but on her side, my father remained aghast while standing.

while standing—

It was a strange atmosphere. As my mother bowed her head, Mrs. Suzune, who went and raised it, locked eyes with my father.

“Suzune—“
“Shuichi—“

Misuzu’s mother went pale. Time had stopped for moment.
Even Misuzu’s mischievous father, remained frozen with his mouth slightly ajar.

“Let’s go. We’re leaving.”

Father grabbed my mother’s elbow, and went towards the entrance.
I couldn’t make heads or tails of what just happened.
In any case, I bowed my head towards Misuzu’s family, and chased after father.

“Hey, hey. Dad. What happened back there?”
“Shuji.”

“Yeah?”
“Give up on that girl.”

“Eh? Wh-, what’re you saying?”
“I thought I would tell you once you became a bit more mature.”

“I’m quite old as it is, in case you’ve noticed?”

(In Japanese, mature and old both use the same word, so Shuji gets confused by his father’s words)

My father sighs at me, who snapped at him.

“I was married to that young lady’s mother a long time ago. You were already born at that time, but before the second child could be born, she’d already run off with another man. Leaving behind you, who was still just 2 years old. I still cannot bring myself to forgive her. I was utterly lost with a baby in my arms, but your ‘mom’ over here saved both of us.”

Looking slightly diagonally, I saw mother raising her mouth while I reminisced the old times.
However, father’s words.

Father’s words—

“That woman was certainly pregnant at that time. With my child. I believe she was seduced by a man with a slight child-rearing neurosis, who became her father. That young lady, the one you’re trying to marry, is without a doubt your little sister. Your sister from the same mother and father!”

So this is what they meant by collapsing on the spot.
I was so shocked that I fell knee-first onto the ground, and collapsed.

What should I do?
What should I—

Misuzu.


When I came to, I was in my room at my childhood house.
My mind was completely blank.
My father must’ve carried me to my bed.
My body hurt, and so did my heart. I couldn’t calm down.
Did I just find out that Misuzu was my little sister?

Looking at my smartphone, I’d received 1 call, and 6 LINE messages.
They were all from Misuzu.

None of the messages touched on that fact.
For now, she had returned to the apartment alone.

In the meantime, father entered my room.
I stared at his face, unable to come up with anything to say.
Father stared at my face, and handed me a single envelope.

“…It has 3,000,000 Yen in it. Give it to her. Then break-up with her properly and come back.”
“N-, no way, why. Do we have to break-up?”

“I TOLD YOU THAT’S YOUR OWN SISTER!”

That’s right. Misuzu’s actually my little sister.
Love, and being loved by, the person I thought I’d spend my future with–

“I heard she’s carrying your child. A baby born from incest is doomed to begin with. You have no choice but to give up on it.”

I hesitantly took the envelope heavy with the weight of money.

To Misuzu–
To our child–

If I give up on them, what will I have left?
What will I have left.

I couldn’t see even a glimmer of hope in my future.
I might as well–


I looked up at my apartment from the bottom.
Misuzu had returned home up there.
My beloved person had.

I didn’t feel like using the elevator today.
Step by step, floor by floor, I climbed up the apartment building.
Our room was on the 5th floor.

As I inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it, the lock opened with a light sound.
How heavy the door felt today.
The vision of Misuzu sitting atop the sofa, comes in front of me.

“Welcome back.”

I couldn’t tell whether she’s energetic or lethargic.
A “Welcome back” with a cheerful voice.
It seemed that she also knew.
The fact that we had the same parents.

She was holding her head.
I could only go near her stand in place.

We stayed like that for a while.

I stared at how she was the entire time.

A whimper.

I kept on hearing her crying voice.

“Hey.”
“Hm.”

“What should we do from now?”

I sat down beside her sofa.
She gleamed a little, and rested her body on my shoulder.
But only for a moment.
It felt lonely, seeing her take a distance of a few centimeters from me.

“Are we really siblings–?”
“…Eh?”

“My father said it was his own child in her stomach. Your mother must have said the same thing. But, what if your mother and my father were cheating on each other long before that? Though that still leaves us as siblings though….. but.”
“Hm.”

“This is just slightly, slightly wrong.”
“Pu.”

What was I saying?
That still makes us no different than siblings from the same stomach.
However, we still yearned for that slight difference.

For the time being, we embraced each other for the whole day.
I would have put her inside my body if I could.
Doing that, would allow us to become human with the same flesh and blood.
We would live on forever and ever.

By becoming one.

An entire day passes without an answer.
Then another.

We took off from work only to spend time with each other.
While doing that, it was Misuzu who spoke up first.

“Let’s, break, up…”
“…You’re right.”

We got up, with powerless movements, and went to the supermarket at the same time to get cardboard boxes.
As expected of siblings, we laughed bitterly seeing how well our minds were in-sync.

After that we split our belongings into two.
The bulky appliances would be sold. The rest we would send to our respective homes.

One by one, one by one, our belongings started disappearing.

One by one.
One by one.

Finally, our child.
That too would disappear.

I handed her the envelope given to me by my father.
He said she could abort the child with it.
If possible, I wanted to be near her while it happened to comfort her.

The light goes out from the room.
The only things left in the end, were Me and Misuzu.
We locked the door to the apartment together.

We walked to the station side-by-side.
We would board different trains to head home in different directions.
That would be the end of us.
The end.

Divided.
We fought and broke up.
We ended up hating each other.
We couldn’t bear to see each others’ faces.

I came up with useless reasons.
Those two cheated on each other I heard. They’re the worst. Both of them.
Despite having loved each other.

Despite having a loved one.

In our silence, Misuzu’s train pulled up at the station.

“See you.”

Misuzu boarded her train. While sitting on the seat beside the entrance, she didn’t even take a glance at me.
I was the same. I kept staring downwards at my feet.

Numerous people boarded and got off, stood up and sat down.

We were nothing more than a meager existence.
One saw this in dramas countless times.
That person, was just a passerby.
That person, was just a long-distance relationship partner.
That person, went on a trip.
That person.
That person.

Then we would both break up.
Once the door to this train closes, everything ends.
There wouldn’t be any contact, nor would I try to make any.

Just another woman who passed by in my life.

A single woman.

My beloved.

Little sister.


The ringing of a loud bell.
It signified that the train would be departing soon.

As I raised my head, Misuzu looked towards me at the same time.
Than in turn, became the trigger.

“Please do not rush into the train!”

The door shuts with the sound of the bell.
I sat on the floor in front of Misuzu’s seat, and embraced her feet.

“Stupid.”
“…..I know.”

The train advanced. It kept on advancing.




We ended up settling in the countryside.
Since the place was largely depopulated, it would give migrants detached houses as free housing.
My job, completely unrelated to what I learnt in college, was at a construction site in the next town.

Misuzu gave birth to a child. It was a girl, and we named her Nozomi.
By our fortune, she had no congenital illnesses due to inbreeding.

I decided to live with them as her uncle.
I also created a field for self-sufficiency, inside a large garden.

Living with my family, alone, in a place with no acquaintances.
From another’s perspective, it might seem like a sinful residence of siblings.
That may be so.

I still love Misuzu, as she loves me.
That’s why I’ll never let go of this hand.
Blessed neither by god, nor by our families, but without any regrets.

This will be our final home. This is fine.

This is—–